at Viva-Almeria.com.  The directory and community site for Almeria, Spain
 

at Viva-Almeria.com. The directory and community site for Almeria, Spain

Contact Viva-Almeria Advertise Almeria Costa Almeria Directory  
 Members Sign In
 
User ID
Password
(forgot password
Become a Free Member

23623 Members
40 People online

 
 Search Viva
 

Alicante Granada
Malaga Murcia

 
 Directory & Services
 
 Almeria Map
 
Almeria Forums
 
Almeria Reviews
 
What's on in Almeria
 
Almeria Travel Mate
 
Spanish Phrase Book
 
TV Guide

 
Contact Us
 
Advertise
 
Web Sites
 
Estate & Rental Agents

 
 Sponsored Links
 

 
Viva-Almeria :: View topic - Golf club sign etc - warning they're oldies!
 Forum FAQForum FAQ   SearchSearch   UsergroupsUsergroups   ProfileProfile   Login to check your private messagesLogin to check your private messages

Golf club sign etc - warning they're oldies!

Please Note that these forums are for discussion, not advertising. If you'd like to advertise or recommend companies, free listings and member reviews can be created in the Viva Directory. Adverts and recommendations will be removed from the forum without notice.

However, it's perfectly acceptable to send a PM to anyone that asks for a recommendation.

Post new topic   Reply to topic    Viva-Almeria Forum Index -> Jokes & Funny Stories
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
rossiterm
Regular
Regular


Joined: Aug 29, 2007
Posts: 245
Location: london south east

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2016 8:16 pm    Post subject: Golf club sign etc - warning they're oldies! Reply with quote

Golf Club Sign

Here is an actual sign posted at a golf club in Scotland UK:

1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP. 3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER. 6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
7 IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.
WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Did I read that sign right?
In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER....... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a second-hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK).



Now that you've smiled at least once
it's your turn to spread the stupidity
Back to top
View users profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    Viva-Almeria Forum Index -> Jokes & Funny Stories All times are GMT + 2 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
Copyright Viva-Almeria.com, Total Viva Ltd. 2003 to 2017. Please read our terms and conditions
Page Generation: 0.156 Seconds
Agua Amarga, Aguadulce, Albox, Almeria City, Almerimar, Arboleas, Carboneras, Cuevas del Almanzora, Garrucha, Huercal Overa, Mojacar Playa, Mojacar Pueblo, Retamar, Roquetas de Mar, San Jose, San Juan de los Terreros, Turre, Velez Rubio, Vera, Villaricos,
Golf Courses in Almeria Spain, Hotels in Almeria Spain, Estate agents in Almeria Spain, Holiday rentals in Almeria Spain, Interesting places in Almeria Spain, Property for sale in Almeria Spain,
at Viva-Almeria.com. The directory and community site for Almeria, Spain, Almeria Spain
Site Map